Feeling competitive about our children …

This is something that I have often mulled over and tried to think about where it comes from. I do remember that very strong and instant bond when your child is born and the feeling that you would protect them from any harm and make sure they have what they need in life, and I often think this is the start of it. As children grow up, it can feel like an enormous pressure to make sure that they are keeping up with their peers, their friends and the children of your friends. We constantly compare and I think this is probably a natural part of human nature.

What my older self wishes I had been able to tell my younger self is that this comparison and competition really does not help children to flourish. This is now very much backed up by what people are learning about the brain. The brain is continually changing and developing. When we learn new things, we are continually making new pathways. Praising the effort that children make, how hard they try and pointing out the steps they are achieving, will help them to succeed far more than our need to check how they are doing against their peer group.

Each child develops at different rates and we know this so well with so many years of teaching. Some children learn to read really quickly and others take longer.

Early reading is not a marker of future academic achievement but it is something that parents can worry so much about and something that they so often use to compare their child with others.

Take the pressure off yourself and just praise your child for their effort and the progress they are making from wherever they are. By doing this they will grow up to believe that it is trying that matters, and this will develop the resilience and self belief that they will need.